17.10.2011
01:10
Today we stumbled upon a blog post about a *scale of the hotness of Disney Princes. (10 being Quasimodo and 1 being Prince Phillip). Not to be outdone, we rose to the challenge. Ladies and Gentlemen of the Interwebz, we give you the fully calculated and fully comprehensive:
*1 being the hottest, 10 being the nottest
Debrief:
10 - Snow White
Con: Annoying Voice
Double Con: Huge Forehead
9 - Mulan
Pro: Asian
Con: Cross Dresser
8 - Rapunzel
Pro: Sassy, Spunky
Con: Someone you'd like to meet at a Stake Dance, but doesn't quite belong on a Hott list
7 - Jane
Pro: Intelligent, Outdoorsy, Aristocrat
Con: Good luck finding her in the middle of the Congo
6 - Pocahontas
Pro: All Naturale; Dark Skin; sings with all the voices of the mountains
Cons: Animals for friends, talks to inanimate objects, runs away a lot
5 - Jasmine
Pro: Witty; Thick, Lustrous Hair
Con: Known affiliate of Al-Qaida
4 - Ariel
Pro: Adventurous; Red Hair; Looks great in rags
Con: Constant, fishy smell; Over protective sea-god for father
3 - Esmerelda
Pro: Eyebrows; Can see through hideousness; GREAT dancer
Con: The goat has got to go; great dancer....
2 - Meg
Pro: Sassy; hips don't lie; tough; very sharp features
Con: Works for the devil...
1 - Aurora
Pro: So pretty, Aurora Borealis was named after her; classic beauty; great voice
Con/Pro: Will fall in love with whoever she wakes up with
To demonstrate how useful this scale is, we've decided to include other characters and where on the scale they fit in.
PRINCESS KIDA - 6.2
Pro: Freaky
Con: Too freaky...
SAILOR MOON - 4.5
Pro: HUGE googly eyes; extendable pig-tails; she is what is good about anime
Con: language barrier
HELEN PARR - 2.3
Pro: flexible; Fountains of Wayne originally titled the song "Jack-Jack's Mom Has Got it Going On", but had to change it to "Stacy's Mom" due to legal reasons.
Cons: She's a slippery little minx; wedded to Mr. Incredible
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